On Pilgrimage – February 1980
Summary: Diary jottings of people coming and going, music listened to, books read, and little delights. Describes herself as โon the shelfโ and quotes a prayer of Ephraim the Syrian on sloth. (The Catholic Worker, February 1980, 7. DDLW #602).
Diary Notes:
Jan. 1โIsabella Levitan Yanovsky telephoned. Nina Polcyn Moore also called upโwe had a good, long talk. Bill Barrett went back to the Franciscans, but he will be here on and off.
Jan. 4โWatched I. F. Stone on a television interviewโvery goodโโAll the world wants Jeffersonโs moral strength.โ
Jan. 6โHeard a Boston Symphony Orchestra program on TV. Then listened to Wagnerโs Siegfried on the radio.
Jan. 10โRuth Collins and Kathleen DeSutter Jordan visited, and Tina de Aragon called.
Jan. 13โโSolar power is thirty years awayโnuclear power is necessaryโโso they say! Our new farm is very near the Indian Point nuclear power plant.
Jan. 14โA rainy and cold Monday. Salty Wheatena for breakfast! I ate a banana instead.
Jan. 17โNo snow yet. What a strange winter! Iโve been too weak and nervous to write in my diary. Dr Karl Stern used to say he could tell a personโs health by their handwriting.
Jan. 24โRuth Collins called. She is sending me down some Dorothy Sayers mysteries. (I must re-read Dorothy Sayersโ introductions to Dante.) Ruth introduced me also to the Boney books, about an aboriginal detective in Australia. She is our real estate advisor, and has worked for many years on providing housing for the poor in Harlem. She loves dancing at Roseland (which the Maritains wanted to visit years ago). She is a fearless woman and a bird watcher. God love her.
Jan. 25โDr. Marion Moses is our speaker at the Friday night meeting tonight. She is soon leaving for California to visit with Cesar Chavez and the United Farm Workers. She is interested in environmental medicine.
Margaret Quigley Garvey, from the Davenport, Iowa house, stopped in for a visit. She is in the city for a Pax Christi-USA meeting.
Jan. 26โStill no winter at all. No snow, ice or sleet.
Saturdayโs Psalm 104 reminds me of Joseph and His Brethren by Thomas Mann, which Peter Maurin gave me to read (someone had given it to him). It also reminds me of the Potok books (My Name Is Asher Lev, and others).
I have been happy with Father Freyโs little Psalm book, arranged for daily reading, which Stanley gave me (bought at the book store next to the Franciscan church on 31st Street). I remember, when traveling to the West Coast to speak many years ago (the priest who invited me had sent me the train ticket with a Pullman berth), I awoke early in the morning and saw the porter, sitting in a made-up compartment nearby, reading this same little book of Psalms.
C S. Lewisโ Reflections on the Psalms is very illuminating. Lewis is my favorite theologian.
Tom Cornell visited this afternoon. He met his wife, Monica, at the Catholic Worker. They have two lovely children.
Tonight there is a โcabaretโ party in the house. Father Geoff, O.P. is the master of ceremonies.
Jan. 27โKathy Clarkson has gone for a long retreat in the Southwest.
Eileen Egan called to tell me of the death of Mairead Corriganโs sister, Anne, who had lost her children in Northern Ireland some years ago. Their killing gave rise to the Peace Peopleโs Movement.
Jan. 28โDr. Marion Moses called me from the airport, on her way to California. Jean Kennedy, my godchild, visited this afternoon. She brought flowers. I showed her family pictures and we talked about our children and the Sheeds. Mary Lathrop Pope also came byโhelped me mend my skirt.
Watched Leonard Bernstein on TV tonight, conducting the orchestra and playing the piano at the same timeโit reminded me of Sasha Maruchess, who was a friend of his, and how he had rejoiced the night Leonard Bernstein first conducted the New York Philharmonic when the regular conductor became ill. Whenever I watch an orchestra, I always want to re-read The First Violin by Fothergill.
Jan. 29โHow Green Was My Valley was on TV tonightโa movie about Welsh miners. Eileen Egan is from Wales.
Finished one Dorothy Sayers mystery and started another, Gaudy Night. I also have Joseph Tey booksโan equally good writer. When I broke my arm at the age of twelve, Aunt Jenny, my motherโs sister and my favorite aunt, sent me one Sherlock Holmes book a week, till I read them all.
There are seven women living at St. Joseph House on First Street, and Maryhouse on Third Street is full.
Jan. 30โA move to re-instate draft registration of menโand women!
Feb. 1โBitter coldโwind also. The tree across the street was golden yellow in the sun this morning.
Gary Donatelli, Don Whitman and others have been distributing leaflets on Church teachings about disarmament each Sunday morning in front of St. Patrickโs Cathedral.
Feb. 4โEarly morning visitorsโSis DeAngelis, with Rosemary Haughton, who is from a community in Scotland. She had visited us at Tivoli years ago.
There were excerpts from La Boheme this p.m. on radioโmy favorite opera in my twenties. Now, I prefer Wagner.
Feb. 6โMass at 7:00 p.m. in the auditorium.โDr. Marion Moses telephoned.โLater, I watched the Luciano Pavarotti Master Class program from Juilliard School on TV.
Feb. 9โAnn Perkins visited, with English shortbreads. Delicious!
Listened to Verdiโs Otello on radio from the Metropolitan Opera House this afternoon.
Feb. 10โSunday Mass at 11:30 a.m. in our auditorium. Later, enjoyed Offenbachโs Tales of Hoffman on the radio.
Feb. 11โMondayโbright, sunny, cold. Bill and Louise Callahan sent some wonderful old photos of Stanley, and the Easton farm, and the old Mott Street house of hospitality.
Mass at 7:00 p.m.โFather Peter of the Little Brothers of the Gospel. Little Brother Maurice and Little Sister Simone came too. They are an order started by Charles de Foucauld. It was Peter Maurin who first told me of them.
After Mass, watched Leonard Bernstein conduct Brahmsโ Symphony No 1 on T.V. To see it on television is better than just hearing it on radio.
Feb. 13โDeane Mowrer is going down to Washington, D.C. on March 8th, with a group from both houses, St. Josephโs and Maryhouse, and from Peter Maurin Farm, to vigil for a week at the Pentagon. I envy her her vigor. Here I sit โon the shelfโ and recall the Prayer of St. Ephraim the Syrian:
Sorrow on me, beloved! That I unapt and reluctant in my will abide, and behold, winter hath come upon me, and the infinite tempest hath found me naked and spoiled and with no perfecting of good in me. I marvel at myself, O my beloved, how I daily default and daily do repent; I build up for an hour and an hour overthrows what I have built.
At evening I say, tomorrow I will repent, but when morning comes, joyous I waste the day. Again at evening I say I shall keep vigil all night and I shall entreat the Lord to have mercy on my sins. But when night is come, I am full of sleep.
Behold, those who received their talent along with me strive by day and night to trade with it, that they may win the word of praise and rule ten cities. But I, in my sloth, hid mine in the earth and my Lord makes haste to come, and behold, my heart trembles and I weep the day of my negligence and know not what excuse to bring. Have mercy upon me, Thou, Who alone art without sin, and save me, Who alone art pitiful and kind.
It would be ungrateful not to find enjoyment in my inactivity, not to โrejoice always,โ as the Psalmist said. Was it Ruskin who wrote about โthe duty of delight?โ What a nice phrase!
